Remember, only you can prevent…small harmless wisps of steam.
I would like to track down the following people:
1. The person or persons who designed the smoke detector in my apartment, a smoke detector so horrifically loud and strident that every time it goes off I jump like I’ve been shot, my hands shake, and I get the ominous feeling that my lifespan has been shortened by at least a couple of weeks. Said person or persons thought it would be a great idea to make the smoke detector sensitive enough that the smallest puff of steam (as in: normal byproduct of a person boiling water for pasta, or taking a shower, or even cleaning the bathtub) is enough to set it off unless preventative steam-venting measures are undertaken. And on top of that, they designed it with no visible override switch for when there’s no fire and the beleaguered tenant just wants it to shut the #%$@! up before she develops a bad case of what the Victorians would have called "nervous prostration."
2. The person or persons who selected this particular smoke detector and installed it in my apartment next to the bathroom door, in a prime steam-detection location.
Once I’ve located the perpetrators, I’m going to tie them to chairs directly underneath the Smoke Detector From Hell, turn on the shower, and let the steam billow out into the hallway. And then I am going to demand a different model that at least has an "off" switch.
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