Surrealist marketing games
The Prior-Art-O-Matic randomly generates product descriptions, producing some splendidly surreal results:
Design #1752498960
It’s a cigarette lighter that’s made of solid gold! It induces lucid dreaming and runs on compressed air.
Design #4258102746
It’s a saucepan that can disable electrical hardware, emits heat and runs on six little wheels.
(I’m picturing it racing madly across a countertop attacking the other appliances, like those tiny hostile aliens in that Twilight Zone episode with Agnes Moorehead.)
Design #2368148569
It’s a computer mouse that’s laced with vodka! It loves children.
Design #2193499468
It’s a diamond ring that kills weeds down to the root, takes high-quality digital photos and is covered with realistic fur.
(Meret Oppenheim does jewelry?)
Design #3243200629
It’s a beermat that looks like a fish! It can play Mornington Crescent.
Design #2594003802
It’s like a normal hair gel, but it connects to the web.
(Now that’s what I want from my hair products!)
They have exquisite corpses too. Or maybe you’d just rather have some sound effects? *yodel-ay-dee-hoo screech whum tsssss whum tsssss bash ZZZIP (creaaak) fssshh whomp fssshh whomp*
(c/o Frogs and Ravens)
Design #547861416
It’s a deck of cards that uses human blood for fuel!
(Perfect for those Canasta nights with Mom, Dad, and Junior.)